The Lost Yamanaka
by APatchOfSunlight
Summary: Instead of declaring Naruto the Fourth's legacy the Sandaime chose to give Naruto a chance at a little family. But who to leave him with? Jiraya? Tsunade? No! Then who? AU. Contains OCs.
1. A Little Deceit Among Ninjas

**The Lost Yamanaka**

**Disclaimer: **Naruto is the legal property of Masashi Kishimoto. The only things I own are what my parents choose to bequeath upon me and my O.Cs.**  
**

**Chapter One: A Little Deceit Among Ninjas**

* * *

The Third Hokage looked on at the mess. 

He his eyes closed willing the disturbing sight in front of him to go away. How had things gotten so out of hand, all was well with his village just a few hours ago. Opening his eyes again he peered out into the gloom of the early morning surveying the desolation that was this particular battle field. Battle field? No, a slaughter field. It had ended of course, the massacre, otherwise he would not be standing here with the luxury of still being alive. Part of him had wished, still wished, that he didn't have to be here, that Minato could be standing here instead and looking on at the carnage and desperately thinking of what to do. _Minato. _Stupid, reckless, stubborn fool of a hero Minato. Sacrificing not only his life but his very soul, -his soul- to stop the monstrosity that was Kyuubi. That didn't however reverse the damages to the area surrounding the village, but it did stop it from reaching the village itself.

The Sandaime's gaze turned away from the battle field and onto the baby boy in his arms. Tufts of blond hair, round blue eyes and animal like whisker marks were his most defining feature, that, and he looked painstakingly like the Fourth. A now invisible seal centered on his stomach was all the sign of the monster that was sealed within.

Minato had wanted his son to be known as a hero, and the Third wished with all his heart that he could make that happen, but something held him back. The Sandaime Hokage had held office for many years, much longer than Minato's brief reign. With that experience he had gained knowledge of the mob mentality of Konoha's residents. Introducing the child as the Fourths legacy in more ways than one would doom the child to a fate similar to that of his traitorous students apprentice – Anko.

Anko had been such a polite, smart ninja, a real child prodigy. Konoha had been most kind to her before his students defection, all smiles and approving nods, known as a genius to rival that Hatake kid, it was part of the reason that Orochimaru picked her, that and she had a thirst for power. She had desperately wanted to prove that she could be a great Kunoichi just like his team mate Tsunade. The Third remembered what promise she had had. It all changed however after Orochimaru's fall from grace, she was spurned as a traitor in waiting, the snake-whore, the coldblooded-bitch. From then on she was the village pariah, someone not to be associated with at all costs. At first she had been severely crushed, and in many ways she still was, but she pulled together and her attitude did a whole one hundred and eighty.

How could the Third in good conscience subject the child in his arms to live that sort of life? No, there had to be another solution, preferably one that didn't disclose to the village just what Minato's kinjutsu entailed. Could he pass him of as just another war orphan, there was sadly quite enough war orphans in which to make that feasible. He looked guilty down at the child, being an orphan was no way to start life and he pitied all those who were forced to lead it. He thought briefly on Iruka who had somehow gotten away from his academy teachers who were preparing to evacuate the village during the attack. In an apparent bid of desperation he had run to the battlefield only to be taken away again screaming for his parents. The Hokage couldn't make sure all those children had homes but he could do at least that much for the child of Minato. Perhaps then, he would only tell the populace about the child's heritage, there would be many willing to adopt the child of their savior. He grimaced, the Iwa-Konoha war hadn't been that long ago, there would be many out for vengeance. The blood of the son of the Yellow Flash would be well sought after. It wouldn't do for the child to be an assassin's target for the rest of his life. Who could he trust to adopt him without spilling the secret, well lots of people, who could he trust to adopt him without hating the child for his new tenant, fewer. Jiraiya? Tsunade? Both were unsuitable parents and both were away from the village for extended periods of time. If only the child had some family left in which he could entrust him to.

A third option came to mind and the Sandaime hesitated for a few seconds before choosing it, lots of paperwork was nothing to be looked down on after all. The new plan would require subterfuge, forgery, and taking advantage of the recently dead. Hardly a B-rank mission. He would have to work fast though, there wasn't much time.

For the first time it what felt like years but was probably little over a day, the Sandaime Hokage smiled a genuine smile. Then he grinned and looked down at the babe in his arms and rufled the blond tufts on it's head. "Well, with your hair you'll fit in just fine."

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Yamanaka Kisuke was just a little eccentric. He wasn't quite a ninja, he had failed his academy exam mostly because of his Nara like qualities. Unlike a Nara, however he didn't settle for calling the test 'troublesome' and moving on, he declared it 'troublesome' and refused to do it. That left plenty of eyes twitching in annoyance. His older brother had nearly died of shame, but got over it quickly as he and his wife didn't really associate with anyone, going to the trouble to get permission from the Hokage to genjutsu his home to keep his solitude. Kisuke – ignoring his brothers plight- (and still associated with the other Yamanakas) had then happily gone and apprenticed himself to an apothecary where he become quite content with brewing poisons and antidotes of brilliant quality. When the Iwa-Leaf war rolled around however he become displeased with the amount of orders on substances that 'restricted his creativity', nobody wanted to go to a battlefield with an untested product in their pouches. So he had taken a leaf out of his brothers book, 'retired' at a very young age and went to live outside Konoha with the considerable amount of ryo that he had earned from selling poison during the war. Sadly wars _were_ great for business. He then catered for only those who were willing to get past his Forest of Doom (inspired by the Forest of Death - only with more traps – he was eccentric after all) and spent most of his time in secludedness, his one on one time with his creations only periodically broken up with visits by his relatives who 'cheated' and flew in on summons thus avoiding his traps. His brother who avoided him on principle, sent special flowers that only grew inside the village and in return Kisuke would send back noxious cocktails for use in his job.

When Kisuke had heard of his brother's and his brother's wife's death, he was immediately stricken with grief, he had after all loved his brother and by extension his brother's wife. He belatedly wished he had visited more often and truly hoped their deaths had been swift. He had locked up all his concoctions (a sign of how serious this was), donned the appropriate mourning garb and trekked back to Konoha for the funeral with the rest of the Yamanaka clan.

The funeral was held in front of the Hokage tower, without their bodies, (which had been lost to a battlefield pyre after the attack) had a big picture of the Yondaime, who had apparently died in the last attack and it was held along with all the other funerals for ninjas who had been lost. It was a solemn affair with a lot of pretty speeches about 'sacrifice' and 'love for the village' (Inoichi – Kisuke's cousin, being head of clan said the speech for the fallen Yamanakas.) There was plenty of quiet murmuring and condolences afterwards when the gathering were permitted to lay down blossoms next to the picture of their departed.

It was then that Yamanaka Kisuke's little bit of eccentricity shone through, for when he turned up he had in his arms a wreath of poisonous flowers; deadly nightshade, monkshood, jimpson weed and a host of other 'lovely' blooms. He got away with it as it was only a _bit _eccentric and could be explained away easily enough as a Yamanaka's penchant for flowers and his brothers avid use of malignant cocktails. That didn't change the fact that nobody would shake his hands afterwards until he had washed them, and then only if he approached them first. So when he was approached by a young woman who he obviously didn't know, he was a little surprised.

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"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?" Kisuke asked, eying the woman critically from across the bench. She had a plain doughy face which was likely to be forgotten very quickly. After approaching him (which had drawn a lot of stares) she had asked him to move over to a bench a bit away from the funeral.

"My name is Ichihara Yuuko, I work at the Konoha Shinobi Orphanage, and well this boy," She gave him a picture of a baby with what could have been Yamanaka hair, wide blue eyes and strangely enough whisker marks on it's cheeks. "This child was recovered from the nursery in your brothers house. We believe that this is your nephew Yamanaka Naruto."

Kisuke blinked. "My brothers child?"

"Yes." She nodded, eying him for his reaction.

Kisuke may have failed his genin exam, but it was not from lack of skill, okay he pretty much sucked at anything to do with fighting, (not being comfortable with getting hit at) but he had been promising with basic interrogation. Keeping his composure he plastered his features with sudden understanding.

"Ah, of course, grief must of clouded my memory for a bit. I hadn't seen my brother in years, I seclude myself you know." he half-lied, " My brother did mention a child in one of his last messages."

She scowled. "Liar. You and your brother haven't talked in years. You merely send packages back and forth. It's my job to do research on next of kin."

"Oh." He paused. "Did you attend Academy?"

"No, why?"

"Your very thorough for just a background check. Don't the authorities normally just deposit the child and move on, especially now of all times."

The woman shifted. "It was done by order of the Hokage."

"The Third was re-instated?"

"Yes, and he specially wanted this child to go to his nearest relative."

Kisuke 'hrmned'. "I live a bit away from the village."

"But you're visited by your relatives frequently enough. Enough to make sure that the child is okay."

"And far enough away that my brother's child will not be... disturbed?"

"Well, I can only really guess. But if you do choose to adopt your nephew, you are to be presented with a package."

"A package?"

"For your eyes only. I don't really know. Sorry."

Kisuke looked again at the picture. '_My brother's son, huh?' _He knew that the circumstances were amazingly fishy. Who would leave their child alone in a nursery and then go attack a nine-tailed biju? Perhaps they thought he was safe with all the permanent genjutsu on the house, but that didn't sound like what a mother would do. Why did the Third specifically want his nephew to be in a safe place? Why the special treatment? And what was up with the package? The apothecary sighed. Those questions could wait until after he formally adopted the boy, mystery or no mystery that child was the one of last remaining connections to his late brother. How could he give that up?

"What was my nephew's name again?"

Ichihara Yuuko smiled, "Naruto. Yamanaka Naruto"

* * *

(A.N Woohoo! Does a happy jig This as you may or may not know is my first ever fanfic, okay I may have made other fanfics but they were all crappity so I didn't submit them. Just knowing that I finally took the plunge makes me feel all jittery and nervous, but I won't ask to spared flames could that would make me feel wimpy and pathetic. On that note ANY questions, comments, queries are all welcome! 

Heres some interesting information concerning this AU.

Naruto's personality will be all skewed as an effect of AU. Since he grows up with a family I'd say that he no longer feels the need to be so ... loud. He'll still love orange ('cause orange means poisonous in the animal world – Kisuke's influence) but he won't wear it so much. I warn you now that Naruto will be a tad vain, this is mostly due to a certain 'second cousin' who happens to chase after Sasuke. So he may be overly concerned with his appearance. ANYTIME Naruto wants to eat something he will always test it for poisons, and he will probably drink from a hip flask.(like Mad-Eye Moody) Naruto will have learnt through experience that CONSTANT VIGILANCE is proper, at least when it comes to food. (also like Moody)

Naruto will live with Kisuke till the last year of Academy, in which he will enroll and live on his own. This is mainly because Naruto wants to see the outside world (Konoha) and Kisuke doesn't. His interactions with people before then will mostly likely be limited to that of the Yamanakas and maybe the Naras and the Akimichis since their families are close.

Any sort of pranks he plays will most likely involve A. an annoying chemical substance, or B. traps. This is because Kisuke will no doubt tutor Naruto in the fine art of Moste Ponte Potions ("borrowed" that from Harry Potter) and Naruto will grow up in Kisuke's place – smack bang in the middle of the Forrest of Doom. Since Naruto is not actually a Yamanaka, he'll have trouble with the family jutsu, so he won't be taking over other peoples bodies anytime soon. He may find however (with the help of a certain second cousin...) that charming people with a bit of good looks and a mild compulsion charm will take him a long ways. He still keeps his amazing stamina, endurance and healing abilities because he still has the Kyuubi.

I'm not going to even attempt to try romance, (well they are, what, twelve? ) but I might go for the crush stuff where its like romance 'cept instead of dates and make-out sessions its more like glances and blushes. As for which way Naruto is going to be sexually inclined (in the 'oooh that persons cute' sense), I at least intend for him to pretend he's bisexual. Whether he actually is bisexual, just pretends to be bisexual but is really heterosexual, just pretends to bisexual but is really homosexual is totally up to my beloved readers, while you review please vote.

As for plot, I'm still as of yet undecided whether or not we get to see the the wave arc or not but I'm sure no matter what team Naruto is on we will get the chunin exams, because the chunin exams rock. Nuff said.

Ichihara Yuuko is an assumed name of course. (It was the Sandaime in disguise, duh)

Just before I forget, do you think 'The Lost Yamanaka' is an okay title? I'm sure there is something more appropriate but I felt that TLY just sounded cooler.

I believe that is all I have to say. Remember: questions, comments, queries! Ja ne.)


	2. A Yamanaka Introduction

**The Lost Yamanaka**

**Disclaimer: **Naruto is the legal property of Masashi Kishimoto. The only things I own are what my parents choose to bequeath upon me .

**Chapter Two: A Yamanaka Introduction**

* * *

The classroom hummed with restless, futile activity. The class had all finished their mid-year vacation and were ready for another semester with their teacher, Umino Iruka. The summer had been spent joyfully as only a peaceful village could spend a summer and the children almost longed to be back, back to lazy days spent on nothing but whims. Almost. Although the lure of vacation still beckoned them, most wished to graduate this year (although there were those just along for the ride) and to do so was going to be hard, they had all been warned by Iruka-sensei.

Nara Shikamaru was the exception that proved the rule true. He had heard of in the past of a Yamanaka who had flat out refused to take the test, and although he would have liked for nothing more than to follow that example, Shikamaru could see no way of getting out of at least trying without both his mum and his childhood friend Ino nagging his ears off. That, he had decided, would be even more troublesome than actually becoming a ninja, and besides someone had to watch Choji's back out there in a world of shinobi. Choji was his best friend and they always looked out for each other. Choji with his brute strength and Shikamaru with his smart intellect. It was this intellect that served him well now, as he was certain he had noticed something that the rest of the geniuses in his class had not yet identified.

Iruka-sensei was acting strangely. His body was tilted slightly on angle behind his desk and was half facing towards the door at the bottom of the classroom, his eyes - when not scanning the class for mischief - strayed and lingered towards the door. He was definitely expecting someone to come through that door, and he was prepared to meet them. Shikamaru was curious now, it had to be someone important because Iruka had yet to start the class, and as far as he could tell, all the students were present and accounted for. The dark-haired boy straightened up from his slouch now, eager to find out what was going to happen. To his right he felt Choji pause mid-chew of his current chip, a definite signal to Shikamaru that Choji had noticed that Shikamaru had noticed something. It was good to know Choji always had his back. Shikamaru nodded at him, and Choji resumed the decimation of the chip packet, if this was a hostile situation he trusted that Iruka-sensei would have been more proactive in protecting his students by now. Still, when he first heard the footsteps coming across from the hall he couldn't help but shiver slightly in anticipation, something deep inside of him told him that this would be a very important meeting, it wasn't quite intuition, and it certainly wasn't logical, most of him wanted to reject it, part of him felt like it didn't want to let go. He didn't bother to verbalise the 'Troublesome' that was welling up inside. He suspected he would have an adequate opportunity to release it later.

The door opened. If the blue-eyed blonde kid on the other side of the threshold had expected silence at his entry, then he would have been disappointed. Shikamaru gawked. This was the year before graduation, it didn't make any sense to him that a new student would transfer in now. They would be way behind, unless they were a genius...

The kid hesitantly stepped into the room, peering at all the people inside as if overwhelmed, he also jumped a bit when Iruka-sensei beckoned him closer. Shikamaru didn't think those were the actions of a genius.

So if he wasn't a prodigy, then why come into the class so late? The Nara boy 'hrmnnned' and his hands slid into a habitual position that was often mistaken as a seal. Perhaps he had been from another hidden village. An idiot shinobi-in-training used as a sign of good faith? That would explain why he was here, and why he had never seen the boy before. It could also explain the whiskers imprinted onto his face, could he be from a cat-type clan? Better to watch Kiba then, an Inuzuka would know his natural clan enemies right?

Shikamaru glanced at the boy and his pup. But even though Kiba had noticed 'The Kid' there was no outward sign of aggression on his face, he did mutter something like 'hair iron' under his breath though. Kiba was decidedly not an introvert... No such luck then.

The Nara boy sensed restrained movement at his 7'o'clock. He twisted in his seat to stare at Ino, the blonde fangirl was squirming with a sort of glee, so there was some relationship between Ino and 'The Kid'. Well, they were both blue-eyed blondes, although 'The Kid' was a tad more sunnier than Ino's refined colouring. Added with Kiba's earlier comment, then that would mean that 'The Kid' straightened his hair much like Ino was wont to do on occasion. Must be a Yamanaka.

By now practically all of the students were watching 'The Yamanaka Kid' with ill-disguised interest, except for some of the Uchiha's fangirls who were to busy vying for said Uchiha's attention to notice anything else around. The true shinobi wannabes like Shikamaru before them, wondered who he was and what he was doing here. The genius Nara allowed himself a small, smug grin, it had been a bit troublesome there for awhile, but he had figured out the identity first.

***

Iruka smiled benignly at the increasingly nervous blonde. Although he thought this only seemed to make the boy more nervous, like he wasn't used to someone paying attention to him. Was he really here for training? Well, he had heard that the boy hadn't been around large groups of people who weren't blond before. Ninja training would loosen him up for sure.

"Class," Iruka began, "I would like to introduce our newest Shinobi in training, Yamanaka Naruto, please treat him well."

For a moment Iruka was concerned, the rest of the class were blinking at the blond with surprise. While he could see the Nara boy had already worked out beforehand and come to terms with Naruto's presence, the rest of the class seemed confused, well except for-

"Ruto-kuuuuun!" The cry coming from the only other Yamanaka in the room screamed to all alert and paying attention, that those two were familiar with each other.

Iruka smiled once more as all the tense shyness seemed to drain out of his newest charge. Once his ties to another Yamanaka had been established, the rest of the class seemed to take to the idea of another rival without hitch. The blond boy, hesitance gone called out with gusto towards his cousin.

"No-chaaaaan!" Iruka winced inwardly, while it was great that things were rolling smoothly he only wished that they could be less, overt while in the presence of fully trained ninjas like himself. Their voices jarred on his mind. The chuunin couldn't remember the last time he had got saddled with such loud children. He resolved to make doubly sure that both of these Yamanaka passed this semester. It wouldn't do for him to be stuck with another one next year would it?

***

At first Naruto had been a little scared, there were so many different hair and eye colours. It seemed unnatural . Of course Naruto knew that it wasn't really, not everyone in this world had blond hair and blue eyes, but this was his first day seeing so many of them – together – not singled out in a way that he was used to. His feelings of doubt overshadowed if not wiped away when he saw Ino.

No-chan, as he liked to call her, was his second cousin. She had visited him often enough for as long as he could remember, once every month or so, twice if he was lucky. Kisuke and his uncle Inochi had said something about 'getting to know family' once, but to Naruto that didn't matter as much as the fact that Ino was the only friend that he saw on a regular basis. No-chan and the rest of his family were his only true ties to Konoha. Well that was before a month ago.

Kisuke had finally relented into letting Naruto visit the village – with Inochi accompanying him of course. For the first time he had seen where his parents had lived (after they had gotten passed the genjutsu that ages old was still surrounding it). He had been astounded. It was like no trace of him had ever existed. Sure there had been a cot, even though it wasn't painted any particular baby colour (unless you counted white), it was even covered with old tomes and scrolls, but there hadn't even any pictures of him as a child. Heck looking through the dusty old albums he couldn't even see a picture of his mum pregnant. It was like they hadn't expected him at all. Naruto realised then that he knew practically nothing about his parents. He had felt at that moment, a desperate need to _know_ them, to understand who they were and why they had done such things, to make it so they weren't just some mysterious figures that he was to inherit from, make it so they were something more, make it so they were truly family. But there was no way he could. They were after all, reclusive. To Naruto this meant the closet thing he could possibly get understanding them like he yearned to was to take up their chosen profession, and as far as he could see their purpose in life – he would become a ninja.

But, well, not a really boring utilitarian one, he would be a cool one like the Yondaime – he had style! That had vaguely amused Kisuke when he told him. Of course, Kisuke was ... hesitant at first. Possessive really. It had taken a shouting match between the usually complacent Yamanakas before Kisuke had given his consent. This didn't mean however, that Kisuke would ever decide to come _with_ Naruto.

All Naruto had in Konoha to rely on was his family. Ino just happened to be closest to him. So it was with no small amount of joy that he ran up to hug his cousin.

***

Curiously, after the initial hesitation Naruto managed to interact with his peers with a flair that no one had pegged him for.

"So, you're new right?" Inuzuka Kiba stated the obvious. Naruto blinked, a little startled from being addressed by another, then suddenly his face spread back into a charming grin. It was the perfect opportunity to put No-chan's advice to use. Releasing his cousin he addressed his new classmates.

"Yes, that's right. I'm from the Yamanaka branch family, I was hidden away from the world after the Kyuubi attack by eccentric uncle who lives outside of Konoha's walls." He inserted a depreciating smile here followed by a cocked eyebrow and the boy and his dog. "That was the information you were looking for right?"

His attempts at suave coolness was met by gruff bravado. "So what if it was, Blondie?"

Naruto faltered a moment, this kind of interaction was new to him, Yamanakas did not operate with the social finesse of a country Hick. A glance at No-chan gave him a reminder to keep polite. No way was he going to alienate his classmates on the first day, - social suicide much?

"I'd think nothing of it, I'm sure I'd do the same in your situation." Another smile.

Kiba grunted. Naruto took that as a sign to press on. "You and friend have me at a disadvantage, as I'm sure you know my name but I have no idea what yours might be." He knew of course, dog and tattoo meant Inuzuka, Ino only had one Inuzuka in her class and that was Kiba who was perpetually accompanied by Akamaru. Best to down play his hand though.

Apparently asking the names of both Kiba _and_ Akamaru had been a good move, the Inuzuka appreciated Naruto not shunting him to the edge of the conversation. They soon got into a rather one-sided discussion of animal breeds (one sided only because Naruto did not know much about them) and were reluctantly interrupted by Iruka-sensei when he patiently started his lesson. Only a certain amount of leeway could be granted this semester.

Ino grinned as Naruto thanked the boy and his dog and moved on to the back of the classroom. There would be plenty of time for more introductions after the lesson, either way she felt that 'Ruto-kun' would conduct himself in a manner befitting a relation to herself. Cool, confident and classy. She only hoped that Naruto could cope with the curriculum in time.

_(AN I have no excuse for the amount of time it took for me to update. No excuse at all. Although I might point out that it should be fine as no one was really waiting for this in the first place, ne? Due to majority in voting Naruto's sexual orientation, when he gets old enough to have one, will be hetero, I stand fast on the decision that at one point I want him to pretend to be bi though! Mainly cos its funny... Thanks for reading if you did. Questions, Comments and Queries are always welcomed. Ja ne.)_


	3. Overcoming Obstacles

**The Lost Yamanaka**

**Disclaimer: **Naruto is the legal property of Masashi Kishimoto. The only things I own are what my parents choose to bequeath upon me .

**Chapter Three: Overcoming Obstacles**

* * *

Yamanaka Ino glared.

Yamanaka Naruto half-smiled apologetically at her, attempting to appease the angry blond . "I'm sorry?"

They were in the Naruto's room. Neat and fashionable as befitting a cousin of Yamanaka Ino. It had a wardrobe full of civies, a full length mirror in one corner, his futon in another. In the middle of the floor Naruto and Ino sat with – curiously enough – a gerbil docilely sitting on top of it's cage. It was facing the blonde female, idly noting that the blonde male was apparently in for a lot of strife.

"Sorry?" Ino's glared intensified. "Don't apologise to _me_ Naruto! Apologise to our ancestors! How can you be so terrible at mastering our clan jutsu?"

He shifted uncomfortably. It wasn't like he wasn't trying, because he definitely was. When he wasn't straightening his hair, doing shifts at the shop, sleeping, eating, defecating, or at the Academy he was training for this jutsu. How could he not? Shitenshin no jutsu was the first family jutsu a Yamanaka could learn, if he couldn't master that he wouldn't be allowed to use the more advanced stuff, which pretty much meant that he had failed his heritage!

While his uncle may have been content with being a apothecary and retiring to the midst of the Forest of Doom, Naruto wasn't. He had a desperate urge to prove himself and gain honour for the late parents who he had never knew. If Naruto didn't have the clan jutsu, then how could he rise to be outstanding? While he wouldn't be disowned, or scorned or anything like that, Naruto felt the he and and everyone else would look down on him and by extension the Yamanaka name. He sometimes had nightmares about it.

"I am trying No-Chan." He said, trying to be patient with Ino and her temper.

"Close, but no cigar! What if you _try _on a mission and fail, huh? What are you gonna say to the family of your dead team mates then? 'Sorry, I did try, but since I failed anyway your son died because I was unable to take over the body of his enemy who then proceeded to cut him up into tiny little bits!"

She was ranting now, making up all sorts of scenarios for Naruto to say he was sorry for. Naruto though hurt, could understand where she was coming from. Naruto needed to be useful to his future cell, and since he was a Yamanaka the obvious choice was for him to learn the family jutsu. While he wanted to protest to the rant he knew it was best from experience to just let her get it out of her system.

"-you probably, just don't care how our clan looks! You and your uncle hideaway in this gigantic old forest spending your time making soup!" She finished, then she bit her lip guiltily. Sometimes she just got really mad. She really needed to work on her discipline . "Sorry."

"Don't worry." He flashed her a sunny grin and promised, "I'll do it this time!"

Ino nodded carefully apparently holding back from saying anything else. She pulled out a timer and pointed to Gatou (the Yamanaka gerbil). He nodded back, holding the grin for a second longer and then resolutely flashed the appropriate hand sign, whilst aiming in the general direction of the rodent. Focusing carefully, he moulded his chakra and let the familiar feeling of numbness take over. "Shitenshin no jutsu!"

Ino's pensive face and the world around him got dark. He closed his eyes.

Naruto/Gatou opened his eyes. He squealed loudly, and Ino (who was now sitting on his futon) clicked the timer. Naruto/Gatou squealed again, demanding to know.

"Three minutes, forty-five seconds." She looked at him, pity in her eyes obvious even to Gatou's poor eyesight. "You've been at it for months now, and we both know that it should be about thirty seconds max for a human take-over in proximity this close, let-alone a gerbil."

Naruto/Gatou looked away, pretending to study his own (devilishly good looking in his opinion) body. It looked stupidly over-sized and cumbersome from this angle, and as weird as it was it was better at looking at Ino's expression.

He _hated_ that look. What he truly hated was that he knew she was right. Ino, Yamanaka elite that she might be, had only taken a week to be able to get where he currently was. Two days of meditation to get the general concept behind the jutsu, learn the hand seals and memorise the risks, four more to pull it off in practice and one more to cut her time from a minute of struggling, the week after she had got it down to twenty seconds (rodent brains are easy) before she started practising on willing family members. It didn't look like Naruto was going to ever master that jutsu. Naruto/Gatou squealed again.

Ino sighed noisily. It was only a matter of time before she started making excuses not to help. Naruto knew that she disliked these sessions because of this particular part of the session, but he needed someone here to do it. There were two reasons that beginners had to be supervised, one because this was _mind-jutsu_, (very dangerous) and two, when you're beginning you start on animals, which meant there are no hands to activate the release. More experienced Yamanaka could expend the animals life energy to get out but that required experience, plus it would kill Gatou. That's why there was a special reverse jutsu that Yamanaka used to free their relatives while they were beginning.

It was unnamed for safeties sake (they didn't want it falling easily into enemy hands,) and it took lots of concentration. It also made for an excellent headache for both parties, and in Ino's mind headaches lead to frowning, which lead to wrinkles, which lead to ugliness, which lead to Forehead-girl getting Sasuke. In other words she hated it.

She reached over, bracing herself for a headache and sent Naruto tumbling back into his own body with thoughts of Kisuke, and his – if not easier then simpler – old life.

Lying awake in his room after the days activities, Iruka's homework and Inochi's surprisingly good dinner, Naruto pondered his latest obstacle. It felt depressingly like he was on his own here sometimes.

What Naruto hadn't anticipated ( with the whole being a ninja affair ) was the odd jarring moments when he would turn around to ask Kisuke a question and to his continuing surprise, come up short. He'd probably have to work on that. Kisuke wasn't in Konoha. Wasn't part of his enterprising life as a shinobi in training. Naruto wasn't able to seek Kisuke out for the various new and puzzling problems that he needed help with. And he _really_ needed help with them. While problems such as dressing to impress and situation specific conversation starters were easily delegated to Ino to help him – as they had always been – , things like who would be socially acceptable to prank in Konoha would not be appreciated by Ino or Inochi or practically any of the Yamanaka family. This was an outrageous Uncle Kisuke question.

He also had a hard time asking Inochi for help learning Clan techniques, being both a Clan-Head and a Jounin kept him fairly busy and Naruto felt sure he had no business bugging Inochi during the precious little moments he had with his immediate family and more importantly Ino. His No-chan deserved her 'daddy-daughter' time as she liked to call them, after all Naruto knew how important parental connections should be.

Thus began Naruto's search for Konoha!Kisuke. Not actually a leafy version of Kisuke but a mentor in Konoha to help him with training. One that would help him with not only his Clan training but with avoiding shaming his Clan too much with pranking and failing at being a ninja, like Uncle Kisuke. After all, the next step to becoming a great ninja and understanding his parents and not bringing shame onto his Clan was getting a teacher, right? (Wrong. But Naruto had never really asked for the specifics of ninja-hood unless it was about colour co-ordination, or something along those lines.) The Genin Exam was a couple of months away now, if he wanted to pass without another year or so to drag his scores up there with his current classmates, he was going to need extra help.

To help with his Genin exam he would need a Shinobi or an ex-Shinobi. For his Clan training he would need a someone who was familiar with Clan techniques. This meant to Naruto someone from the Clan, (although in truth other Konoha shinobi knew how to use some Yamanaka jutsu.) Pranking help meant someone with a practical sense of humour, creative flair, silence under pressure, good tacti –

Naruto paused in his scheming, the practical sense of humour part wiped off every Konoha residing Yamanaka he knew. He swiftly apologised to Ino in his head.

The problem with his plan was he didn't know very many Yamanaka.

Sure, in his childhood (disregarding the now as a matter of course, in his own humble opinion Naruto had transgressed childhood, Ino never quite agreed) he had been visited by his closest most connected relatives quite often . Heck they were probably all that was standing in the way of him developing a true Kisuke like personality. But the Yamanaka Clan was larger than just his second cousin and her family.

What Naruto needed to do was to meet more Yamanaka, it just wasn't as simple as walking out into the Clan grounds and striking up a conversation with the next person he met. Mainly being that there was no Clan grounds. Heck, he was staying in Ino-the-Clan-Head-daughter's house at the moment and it doubled as a flower shop. He was almost tempted to go out and just shanghai the next blonde-haired, blue-eyed person he saw, but colouring really wasn't a reliable indicator of Yamanaka-ism. It was also probably racist.

Luckily for him, a Clan meeting was coming up. Something Yamanaka, important and to Naruto's annoyance classified had been stolen. Which was just cause for a Clan meeting to be held, both for the discussion of the serious business and also – in Kisuke's opinion – superfluous gossip. Naruto had never been to a clan meeting before. Kisuke never having deigned to attend and by extension neither had Naruto. Inochi, however did. He had to, being the head of the Yamanaka clan. Since Naruto was now living in Konoha, and Inochi was now his closest (geographically) adult relative, it would lose Inochi face if his cousin's nephew did not turn up. Which was now going to be convenient for Naruto's mentor search. While clan politics were something that Kisuke never paid attention to, apparently Ino did, and Naruto had learnt from her which automatically made it learning from the best. So Naruto had no qualms dragging his beloved 'No-chan' to the markets to shop for the big event.

The commercial district was located not too far from the gates of Konoha for several reasons; tourist trapping, easier access for merchants to trade before they found a comfortable bosom of the red light district to 'relax' in, the last pit stop before one of Konoha's finest went off on a mission and lastly because it was one of the most likely districts to finance it's own recovery should it be smashed to pieces by wantonly invading ninjas, (as invading ninjas were supposedly wont to do). The last reason was probably a whimsy on the part of the Fourth Hokage, made during his brief reign and the rebuilding after the Konoha/Iwa war. It certainly wasn't made privy to the civilian half of the council.

More importantly it was loaded with imported trinkets from all of Hi no Kuni's borders and a few that weren't. Since the Fire country was well off and had good weather and soil, (apart from a few forest fires – although that only served to better the quality of the earth) it's produce was of large quantities and good quality, so Konoha markets were privy to some of the best cuisine in the Elemental countries, not that Naruto and Ino would know as Ino was on yet another diet for her precious 'Sasuke-kun' and Naruto was – unfortunately for him – moral support. Which was a shame really because he thought he could smell something delicious and calorie-ridden coming from Ichiraku Ramen. Most critically however, for the purpose of this trip, Konoha's market had a large selection of clothiers with materials and designs imported directly from the capital which made it easier for those that were fashion conscious to keep up with the latest trends, after all, who knew who might see you?

It was in one of the many clothes stalls, that Sakura came across her rival. She had come to acquaint herself with some sort of accessory that would highlight her long hair that she had grew out for the sake of her crush. Something shiny that would draw attention to her head perhaps? She moved nearer to the earring rack, she'd be a kunoichi soon so maybe piercing her ears wouldn't seem too adult...

"Ruto-kun, try this white over-coat, it's Yondaime style!" The sound of Ino's voice; loud and demanding, and – dammit all – friendly evoked old happy memories that Sakura had thought she had gotten past, for a moment she was overwhelmed so she retreated in the dress section to covertly watch her rival and her cousin interact in a way Sakura and her hadn't in /years/. It seemed they only interacted in rivalry these days. Besides, if she concealed her presence she could treat this as espionage, great practice for her chosen career path.

Yamanaka Naruto emerged from the fish-net rack he had been rifling through in the corner and trotted to the wide array of coats Ino had surrounded herself with. He winced openly at the white over-coat that the blonde was brandishing in her hand.

"You know, No-chan, I said I wanted to be /like/ the Yondaime not his miniature clone." Sakura snickered silently, Ino always liked to think she knew best with what people should wear, Sakura still kept the ribbon that had been recommended and forcibly given to her after all these years. Definitely not for sentimental reasons.

Ino tutted, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and since he's dead it's not like you're going to run into the guy with the same outfit. Plus, white also looks formal-ish so you can wear it to the meeting."

Sakura figured this was her best chance to make an impression on the latest Yamanaka addition to the class. A quick glance at a handy in-stall mirror, a sneaky side-step to get behind them and then she casually dropped into their conversation, surprising the heck out of the wannabe ninjas.

"He may be dead, Ino-pig but his picture is still sitting around. It's not like the older generation won't notice either. Are you /brain/ dead or something?" Naruto blinked at her while Ino glared, refute most likely on her tongue, but more importantly Sakura had gotten new guy's attention. Take that piggy!

"It's just a over-coat, billboard-brow, it's not like it has the flames or kanji! Can't you see or is your forehead in the way?" Ino frowned, no doubt furious at the act of defying her choice in wardrobe. If Sakura were to push it too far then Ino would get too angry and the game would be over.

"It could have been that there was a big fat pig in the way-" Oops! Insult.

Ino opened her mouth to argue, but was interrupted by her cousin.

"We're here to shop for an outfit to wear to the Yamanaka clan meeting. I haven't been before so Ino's helping." He smiled politely. "Do you have any suggestions?"

Sakura paused, if she took the hand of peace that Naruto was offering maybe she could get some help with her hair in return. Just because her and Ino were rivals and most definitely not friends, didn't mean they couldn't be civil.

"A clan meeting... My parents aren't affiliated with a clan, so I could only guess. Perhaps something traditional like a kimono?" There. She had played her hand. Neutrally and with no antagonistic undertones.

"A kimono? No-chan mentioned it earlier but I had my heart set on something more bad-ass."

Ino rolled her eyes at Sakura, momentary truce seemingly accepted in the spirit of mocking a particularly stupid male specimen.

"Bad-ass for a clan meeting? Ino-pig must have been hard at work trying to find a suitable compromise for you!" A maybe-a-compliment was as far as Sakura was going to bend.

"You're over thinking things, forehead. I live in a flower store remember? We're not Hyuuga."

Sakura's lips pursed. Letting the forehead comment slide she instead focussed on the problem at hand. The Yamanaka clan was a ninja orientated one, so ninja gear was probably OK. Would all black be too formal? Probably for Naruto, something about his sunny colouring that showed he wasn't a Yamanaka pure-bred made her think it was a shame to stick him in depressing colours.

Currently Naruto had been going around civilian style. Shirts and slacks in neutral shades, tans and muted greens, perfect for blending but Iruka-sensei was going to lose his temper if Naruto came in the next week without proper shinobi gear after being warned so many times, after all civilian clothes were cheap but constricting.

"Colours?"

Naruto finished adjusting his new outfit in Ino's full length mirror, a black reinforced-material vest hanging stiffly over his cyan long t-shirt and standard shinobi slacks. After a moments consideration he pushed his sleeves up his forearms to facilitate a more casual look. Now that he was dressed to impress, he was willing to give this thing his best shot. First a teacher, then Geninhood, then Chuuninhood, and lastly Jouninhood, where if he didn't at least have some glimmer of his parents minds, then he was probably never going to.

Nothing was going to stop him from being the best Ninja ever. Except maybe a bad hair day.

_(AN So, by now you probably all hate me. But since I did this, I decided I'd put it up. I know most of the authors on update with far more frequency than I do(attention - understatement), however, unfortunately for you guys, I work on this whenever the whim takes me. To me, this isn't something to be forced, and I've never have a whole lot of drive in my life. _

_For any of you if you are reading this, I do actually have plot and direction, (however slowly imparted) to do with Naruto's new 'mentor' as he puts it, and partly to do with Naruto's journey as a well mannered pretty boy to 'being the best Ninja ever' as well as his journey to finally understanding his parents and discovering his many past secrets there. Also side!plot with the missing Yamanaka artifact._

_Thanks for reading if you did. Questions, Comments and Queries are always welcomed. Ja ne.)_


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